


It Keeps Happening

by TalysAlankil



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 23:38:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4765265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalysAlankil/pseuds/TalysAlankil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico keeps falling for the wrong people. At least he has people to talk about it this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Keeps Happening

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an anonymous prompt I got: "Nico, who hasn't come out yet, panics when he realizes his feelings for Will, and goes to a friend for advice. (Either Jason or Annabeth, I'd think, because I don't think he'd feel quite right talking to Percy about it.) What happens after is up to you."

It was happening _again_.

Nico had hoped that Percy would be an exception. Some kind of hero worshiped cranked up to the extreme, the boy who had saved his life and caused him emotional turmoil over Bianca's death. Love and hatred were sides of the same coin, right? Clearly what he'd felt was because of…well, _that_. Nothing to be hung up over.

He'd been more than proud when he'd realized he was over it. Cupid had forced him to say it out loud, but in a way, that had freed him from the way. Maybe keeping it a secret was the only reason Nico had held on to this crush for so long, and now he could move on and be _normal_ at last.

But then he'd had to make a new friend. Or…it would be more accurate to say Will was making _him_ a friend. He was very insistent on being Nico's friend, actually.

It had taken a few days after the war to really start, mostly because Will spent those days almost entirely in the infirmary, and while Nico had come by for his check-ups as Will had commanded, it was just the two of them.

After those few days, though, Will had seen Nico in the midst of the Camp Half-Blood crowd. And while the Argo II crew and Reyna were more than happy to see him, most of the other still stayed away. Respect was coloring their fears now, but the fear was still _there_.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said," Will said after all of one day hanging out with Nico.

"What do you mean?"

"When I said you were crazy to think no one here accepted you. I just—I never realized until you pointed it out."

And from that point on, Will had insisted to be Nico's friend. So of course Nico just _had_ to start develop a crush on him too. Maybe it was the Percy thing all over again, and Will was saving him from something—albeit not a monster attack. Or maybe it was just something different altogether. Maybe _Nico_ was different.

Since he'd told Percy and Annabeth about his crush, Percy had given him space. Not exactly avoiding him, and not acting all that different, but unless there was someone else around, he seemed to only engage a conversation with Nico when Nico started it. Annabeth, however, had taken a different approach, and came once every few days to Nico to ask if he wanted to "talk".

So after he coached a sparring session with her and Jason, on the same day he realized what his feelings for Will were, he said, "Can you guys wait for a moment?"

Jason stared at him with a curious look in his eyes, his glasses crooked as always and his shirt sticking to his skin after he'd splashed himself with water—not that Nico was staring. But Annabeth's knowing smile let Nico know she'd guessed what he had to say. She sat down on the side of the arena, patting the seat beside her to invite Nico.

"I'm— _we're_ listening."

Jason glanced at her, and judging by the serious look that came across his face, he'd finally guessed too as he sat down on the ground in front of Nico. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I—" He took a deep breath. "You both know about the whole 'Percy' thing. And I'm totally over him, Annabeth, I swear." He winced at his own words, flowing out too fast and almost incoherently. "Anyway, I just…I hoped it'd be okay after that, but now. I have a crush on someone again. A boy."

Jason let out a small laugh. "Nico, that's _great_!" He glanced at Annabeth, then added, "Isn't it?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "And…that's what you want to talk about?"

"It's just—sometimes I feel like I'm going insane. Like, he's always _touching_ me, and I don't even really mind, but…what if it's just friendliness? And—does it mean I'll never be normal?"

"What do you mean by 'normal'?" Annabeth asked, patient.

"You know. Like…Percy and Jason. Or any other guy. Do you think I could never like girls?"

Annabeth cast Jason a side glance with a smirk. "Well, I think you need to realize there's nothing or even abnormal about being something other than straight. Especially for us demigods. Have you read any myth? The heroes of old…they didn't care about those labels too much. And let's not even talk about the Olympians."

"Then why did they had a myth where people used to be half male and half female, and that's why soul mates exist nowadays?" Nico's words felt bitter as he said them.

Annabeth frowned. "I…don't know what version you were told, but it's incomplete. In that myth, there were also people were two male halves, or two female halves.

"But—wait, really?"

"There's probably a copy of the _Symposium_ somewhere at camp, if you want to read it. Also, it's not a myth so much as a metaphor used by Plato. I'm not even sure I believe in the idea of soul mates."

There was something strangely soothing about Annabeth's calm, rational exposition. "So—"

Jason cut him off. "It's okay, Nico. You love who you love, and that's that."

Nico bit back a remark about Jason's shock when Favonius had mentioned being in love with a man—Jason's tone was too earnest to deserve that. Still, that didn't help. "What should I do, then?"

"Do you feel like you'd be ready to come out?" Annabeth asked. "I mean, the only way to find out if he likes you too is to ask him, and that's always a risk. And if he does like you…well, I doubt you'd be able to keep it under wraps for very long."

Nico paused. He had never even considered telling Will, let alone letting _everyone_ know. "I—don't know."

"I'll be honest with you, Nico: I haven't polled the camp or anything, but you can expect that not everyone will be as open-minded as we are. Even Percy's having trouble being around you—I don't think he minds, not exactly, but he's uncomfortable that you had a crush on him and he doesn't know how to deal with it. Other people, though…they might actually hate you for it. If you do decide to come out, it will mean dealing with that too."

"But we'll be here to help you through it," Jason said, and Annabeth nodded.

Nico remained silent for a moment. "I don't know if I'm ready for that yet." He could barely deal with it by himself—dealing with other people's hatred seemed impossible right now. And what if Will rejected him? He wasn't his _only_ friend, but Nico didn't want to lose him. "What should I do?"

"I think you need to take your time," Annabeth said. "A lot of people will tell you you need to come out at once, that you'll be happier no matter what…but it's not that simple. Learn to accept yourself first, learn where you stand with W—with that boy of yours. When you're ready, you'll know. And in the meantime, you can talk about us all you want."

Nico couldn't help but grin—of course Annabeth would know who he was talking about. "So your advice is to do nothing?"

"My advice is that you work on yourself first. It's the very opposite of doing nothing. It's probably the most difficult part. Once you accept yourself, _then_ you'll be able to face other people's hatred."

"I've gotta go—I'm in charge of chariot race practice," Annabeth said as she stood up. "One last piece of advice: you can tell Hazel. I know her enough to know that, and she's your sister. She deserves to know. And it'll help you figure out how to tell people without blurting it out in public where anyone can hear."

Nico managed a weak smile. "Right. I'll try that. Thanks, Annabeth."

She left, leaving Nico and Jason alone in the empty arena. Jason came to sit next to Nico, and wrapped an arm around Nico's shoulders.

"Is this okay?"

"Yes. If it wasn't, I'd let you know."

Jason laughed, then fell silent, serious once again. "You know, I don't have all the insightful wisdom Annabeth does, but if you ever need to talk again, I'm here too."

"I know. Thanks for being there."

"But if you want my advice…I think you should go for it with Will." Jason's shit-eating grin dissuaded Nico from trying to deny it. "I mean, not now—take Annabeth's advice, she knows her shit better than me. But I'm pretty sure you have your chances with that boy."

"Jason Grace: suddenly the keenest gaydar in Camp Half-Blood?" Nico teased.

Jason shrugged. "Nah. But I may have overheard him while he was sparring with Cecil earlier today." He winked as he got up. "Just so you know."

He walked away, leaving Nico alone with his thoughts—but they weren't all dark, for once.


End file.
